Weblog

Monday, 18 January 2010

  • Never did i imagine this

    A few months ago I thought I would never feel so head over heels for someone other than WMF. But wrestling season rolled around. The only time that promises me happiness. All the guys on the team are wonderful, and I love them. But theres that someone in specific. He blew my mind by being everything I didnt expect. I thought he was gonna be a ganster asshole, btu he was everything but. he was polite, mature and handsome as all hell. Spending 12 or more hours with him every saturday and some fridays. I feel those butterflies inmy stomache again, but they different from WMF. Even though this guy is not perfect, he has a child, was in lockup.. i still think about him all the time. I dont know what to do. Hes a wrestler, and theyre off bounds. But my heart cant handle that. Im chillen with him, goet and Merk today. Oh how ive missed these butterflies

Saturday, 26 December 2009

  • its been awhile

    I am sooo stoked its wrestling season. I wasn't atfirst because I dont like having new kids walk on our team, especially having like 20 of them new.But over all minus two people I love these new kids. I mean I'm not like most girls, I dont care if theyre hot or built, I dont travel with them to screw them lol. Wrestling is a sport I love, a sport I was born around. These wrestlers are awesome and mostly like family to me, I will protect them nomatter what, especially form those disease ridden girls, yeah Im a cock-block. My bestie is a wrestler and I have gotten tight with two of the new ones. I love this season, plus another upside is that they are polite, crazy, random and pretty decent.

    In two days it'll have been me and Will's 1 year anniversary, while i havent seen him for 8 months. I miss him like crazy, my room is full of me and his pictures, all I wanted for chrsitmas was him.

    Last week a classmate and friend of mine had died,its been hard... an he was a great Kid. RIP Alex Johnson.

    I spent time with my beautiful and crazy little cousins. Drank a lil xmas eve.... whatevs. Xmas day cuddled with two of my favorites.

    Today the neices came over and un wrapped gifts =) then Goetschius came and let me shave his head into a mohawke and we exchanged gifts. Then Amy came over and the same. Then out of no where my little brother, CJ whom i havent seen in three years because he moved to Ohio showed up on my door step =) I was bawling it was soo nice to see him and hold him in my arms again even thoguh he is 6'2 now!!!!!

    Then tomarrow I get to work at Nursery like every Sunday and hear what my kiddos all got from Santa. the best thing about the holidays is the kids other than that it is all depression.

    Tommarow gonna get some books, Tuesday wretling tourn, weds giving blood, going to see Aunt Nacey, and then therapy appt. Thurs New Years eve with the twinzies, bestie and ET. Theyre all sleeping over then Gramma's the next day.

    YAYA!!

Saturday, 28 November 2009

  • .

    So early this morning Kris, who is like a sister and bestfriend to me, her gf finally popped out the baby! They named him Leighland, and he is gorgeous. Next weekend I get to drive down there and see him and hold him in my arms, i am soo excited for them!

    Today is the first time ive seen my evil twin Amy in months, i miss her like crazy, but sadly she didnt make me any happier. I dont knwo what to do to make life between us the way it was.

    My neices are growing up and becoming lil replicas of me. I love those girls.

    I kiss your picture everynight. I know it may be months or even years until i get to touch you again but its all worth it, because like you said its a trial of our love.

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

  • Its time

    Its time to let go and just breathe. Its time to let my walls down and break all the barriers. Its time to let people in and stop being a crazy bitch. Its time to stop hurting my parents, friends and myself. Its time to focus on me and my potenial. Its time to stop fucking around, and time to clean up. Before I know it life will bite me on the ass.

Sunday, 15 November 2009

  • Backspiraling

    SO old people keep comign around, tempting me to retreat to my old life. I go to therapy once a week now, I cannot trust myself and neither can Sara. Im on meds and things to make everytime I smoke, i get sick. And im doing alot of vitamin e to make all the stretch marks and scars go away. I work out like crazy to get back into shape. Spain trip in 4 months!!!!!! arrrrrrggggggggggg! gotta be skinner by them or ill die of heat.

    Got a call for an interview for the new mcdonalds being built on 26th street. After putting in apps at 15 other places i gave in and put one in there, as my last reost and i got a call back the same night! Wednesday i have to put on some long sleeves and a smile and get th job!

    Idk, schools school. Got grades for first quarter, relievedfrom all my stress, i think im gonna do fine.